Friday 12 April 2013

Shaking hands

Im stunned Ive not brought this up before and its something I feel is really important and helpful for anyone coming to Norway.

Now Im not sure what everyone elses experiences are but with my friends and family in England the polite things to do when introduced to someone varies greatly. This can be anything from a simple nod and "alright/hi" in someones direction to a hug and kiss on the cheek. Where on the spectrum you should be is not always clear but some more obvious ones would be:
When meeting a medium size group of people (5-10) then typically its a "hi everyone" and maybe a wave, and everyone does the nodding of acceptance thing and then gets on with their individual conversations. At the other end of the scale if I were introducing someone to a member of my family or close friend then; two men would shake hands and opposite sexes or two women would almost always hug and likely kiss cheeks.

It sounds complicated but to be honest its usually pretty clear what the play is. Although I wont deny awkward situations have been encountered now and then.

Norwegians, like in many ways play it simple. No matter who you are meeting weither it be a loose friend of a friend of a friend, family, close friend or whatever. No matter what gender, occasion or number of people in the room. . . Norwegians will always shake hands! This may not sound that strange but when you walk into a room of 10+ people and are expected to go and shake everyones hands individually and introduce yourself it can feel mental. I recall one time when I went completely on autopilot when meeting a good friends girlfriend for the first time. Naturally I went in for a hug and may have even given her a peck on the cheek. Now no one said anything and she very politely went with it however I did feel a massive air of awkwardness and was very aware I'd gone rogue.

By the same token, many times Marianne has met friends of mine and they have gone for hugs where she would normally have just shaken hands. In fact while at university she told me of times she shook girls hands when meeting them and then the girls almost took offense as this was a very masculine thing to do and not as friendly. Now I wont get into the gender debate about this but I do find the whole thing rather interesting. I do agree that just shaking hands can be a little cold at times and I find myself feeling a little awkward. You see now I know that shaking hands is always the done thing and hugs are not that common in Norway sometimes I am unsure if a hug is ok even with close friends and Norwegian family I now know well.

On the other hand though I have decided that generally I like this system. In my time here naturally Ive met many of Mariannes close friends and family as well as friends of friends etc. Its very handy for me therefore to know that no matter who I meet, what room of people I walk into,  the same thing is expected of me. I just walk around the room shaking everyones hand individually saying "Hi, Bobby, hyggelig" (hyggerlig means pleasure, which is short for "pleasure to meet you" or "hyggerlig å treffe deg") .When saying this I then usually fail to catch the more unusual names first time round and have to bring it up again later if I get the chance. In fact I'll let you into a little secret, I often didn't even bother listening first time, some Norwegian names are crazy!

Thursday 11 April 2013

God Påske, Easter in Norway

As I'm sure it didnt escape your notice, recently it was Easter. Easter (called "Påske" in Norwegian) is a big deal in Norway I discovered, and this has nothing to do with the relegous aspects. In my experience very few Norwegians are religeous, I dont think I recall a single mention of Jesus around Christmas time and apparently he doesnt really get a look in at Easter either.

The reason Easter is so big in Norway is simple, several days off work. Norwegians are very big on free time, holidays and making the most of not working. You work to live, not the other way around and its one of the most attractive aspects of life here in comparison to England. In England I beleive like much of the world the Friday and Monday around Easter Sunday are public holidays where banks and most offices etc are closed. In Norway its a half day Wednesday and then nothing is open again until Tueday. In England these days loads of things stay open on public holidays but Norwegians are not having any of that. Many of the shopping centres and I beleive most supermarkets were open for a bit on the Saturday but that was literally it. This meant that when I got a note to pick up a package from the post office Wednesday afternoon I had to wait nearly a week for it to be open again. This was also true for the Vinmonopolet, meaning nothing  stronger than beer could be bought after 1pm/13:00 on Wednesday until the following Tuesday. I found all this rather frustrating and incredibly strange, how almost the whole country can close for nearly a week is beyond me but I guess as I wasnt at work either I should get over it.

What I really wanted to talk about was what everyone is doing when not at work and everything is closed. Well the answer is almost always a trip to hytten (the cabin). As Ive mentioned before many people have cabins in Norway, some in the mountains, others by lakes or the sea and others  in nice country settings. My girlfriends family have the final of those choices. A lovely idilic house about an hour from Bergen built by her fathers grandfarther or great grand father, Im afraid I dont recall. Naturally made entirly of wood it was incredibly quaint with many nice walks to take in the area. Cabins differ in their modern conveniences, this one upgraded a few years ago from an "outhouse" to a standard indoor toilet, but has no shower. There were four rooms each comfortably sleeping two and a large lounge/dining room for us all to relax in. The kitchen was very small and there was only a small oven just big enough for a large joint of meat and only two hobs. Mariannes parents however were experts at creating fantastic meals with these limited resources for all 10 of us, two of which were young children.

The two children I mention are Marianne's nieces, both girls aged 4 and 8 whom I beleive have come up before. They are very sweet girls and it was great to spend so much time with them to bond and to see the Easter traditions for the children. In England typically everything is done on Easter Sunday, my brother and I would come downstairs to find a table full of large chocolate eggs which we would spend the next several months getting through. We would also always do a easter egg hunt too, which would usuallly involve hiding small chocolate balls in the garden for us to find. The norwegian traditions are only slightly different but certainly interesting never the less. Firstly the whole weekend was treated like a little festival much like it is around christmas with themed decorations and such, not nearly as excessive as Christmas of course but certainly comparible. On the Saturday the girls did an easter egg hunt just like I did as a child and it was all very cosey. On the sunday though there was still more searching to be done. Rather than just giving large chocolate eggs as presents each child/person(we all had one) has a large plastic egg that is the container. These were left outside in a basket empty and then later we went outside where they where hidden around the garden and now full of sweets. This is a very nice cosey idea and I particularly like the variety in sweets you can recieve in the egg rather than just lots of massive chocolate balls. I beleive the hiding and filling is something that is supposedly done by "the easter bunny". Now im of course aware of this creature but I'm pretty sure it was never anything I was told about as a child and was just something I heard about on American TV. I was surprised to hear this animal exists in Norway.

Finally I want to mention what we spent the rest of our time doing when not searching for chocolate. Each day we had large family breakfasts and dinner which were all immense, lamb for dinner on the Sunday being a particular highlight. We would also go out for an hour or so walk each day in the area, maybe having hot dogs with us for lunch. A huge amount of time we spent playing Yahtzee, the dice game. I actually really enjoy a good game of Yahtzee and was stunned that I didnt get more bored of it as we really did play stupidly large amounts. The rest of the time was spent just relaxing, chatting, having a few drinks, snacks and just generally enjoying family time. It was all very nice and it was a lovely way to get all the family together.

For me personally I enjoyed the food and drink lots of course as well as the nice scenic walks. It was also great to bond with the kids and start to build some uncle status. Naturally I had to speak a lot of Norwegian over the weekend. I still cant chit chat and have proper conversations but I surprised myself with how much I could use what I have and how I managed to talk to the girls who of course dont speak English yet.
I certainly consider myself a family man and my family in England are very important to me and we are all incredibly close. It was nice to have the opportunity to spend more time as a family with my new Norwegian family and the sense of belonging continues to increase. Until my Norwegian is much better I will always feel like an outsider but I am a forigner and dont feel that can or even should be ignored. I am what I am and thats fine by me. My Norwegian family have done so much to make me feel welcome that the stresses of life and worrying about language were definatly lost in the warm fuzzy feelings of family for the weekend.

A typical Norwegian easter egg filled with a variety of sweets

An example of some easter decorations at hytten.